It was a beautiful day. They had dwelt in their tight-knit community for ,many moons--peacefully, for the most part. Until SHE came. By she, of course, I mean me! Yes my friends, I have been the cause of much destruction. Even death. The whole Shebang was sent out against me too. I was hunted, attacked, even trod upon. But to no avail. I have conquered. Homes are destroyed, and food was lost. Many lay dead.
But the garden is weed free! That part anyway. I'm glad I'm not an ant. I am glad too that I am not a centipede or an earwig. Those creep me out more than anything. Spiders, I can handle. No problem. Unless they are those red ones that live under my tramp (remember, Meagan?). Maybe I am creeped out by red things. That is prolly it. I don't like them. Not in a barn, not up a tree.
I feel kind of old. My trainer tonight was 17. He sounded like my cousin Dan--with his voice still trying to change. Awww... He made me chop onions. I showed him-- I liked it. Work was quite the experience. I was only supposed to learn how to make five new sandwiches tonight. Pah ha ha. Nope. After working at Old Navy at 6am and getting sunburnt while I accidentally killed ants, it was fun. I hurt and I'm tired, and I'm getting old. Dangit.
You know how you want to ask people questions because of weird things they say, but then you don't, because it's on The List, and even though there weren't any guys in the area, I knew that Maria would frown anyway? And then you thought about what a funny blog I could have if I just listed all of the questions that popped into my head. But it's on the list, and there are boys in this general vicinity. So don't you worry, Maria. You are safe, and I won't try to scandalize you this time. Just know that I work with some interesting people at Old Navy...wow. And that we got about 50 pink size L tanks in today. ??? And that the clothes at Old Navy are mostly ugly. But at least I'm not as tempted to spend my paycheck!
I'm sorry it's weird, and random, and probably full of mistakes. But I am going to bed now. So I won't check this 'till later. So there.
No animals were harmed during the events spoken of in this blog. **Except ants--do they count?**
Do YOU know how to say Ciabatta? How 'bout foccacia (I know you do Megz)? Can you tell the difference? I can. I know...you're all impressed. Self, now is the time you GO AWAY!!! K bye.
10 Comments:
I am being forced to comment here so I will. I thought it was an excellent blog, although I am contemplating prosecuting on behalf of the ants and other friends of mine that belong to my "I Wish I Was Bigger Club" As for the Old Navy clothes, I'm not such a fan, although I did once purchase a nice set of shorts there. I can pronounce focaccia, so I feel cool, even if I can't spell it. And I have decided I can no longer complain about working lots of hours, cuz Adriane has surpassed that.
Pah! Whatever--You still work more than me. Thanks for humoring me.
Adriane,
I could not frown at you. I just give the look that you don't like.
but even then, it is only because i only love you times ten and a half.
"OH NO! My name's Adriane, and at the ancient age of 20, I'm simply wasting away! Isn't it about time for my mid-life crisis? I mean, my quarter-life crisis? (Wait a sec, I'm not even there yet!) Anyway, the only pleasure left to me in these, my golden years, is killing ants between bridge nights with my neighbors in my retirement community. Pretty soon, someone will need to wrap my frail, brittle bones in a blanket and fetch my old person medication.
Yeah Adriane, you're really old.
There's an Old Navy commercial that's been on recently where the girls wear these heinous tunics and dance around like mad. I think they keep moving so that you won't have half a chance to see how ugly their clothes are.
Generally I like Old Navy, but they're having a bad season or something.
This one time I got totally freaked out because I DO remember the red spiders of death (gross, gross, GROSS!)
Plus I think I have to agree with Adriane. In times gone by I would have been shocked that Adriane went to be after a blog posted at 9:08, but that seems VERY reasonable now. That's when I go to bed (:
And I think you should ask random questions, we should do weekly polls on random questions. This week's poll:
Have YOU ever eaten yoghurt with a grapefruit spoon?
I just remembered. NEVER will the poll questions deal with toothbrushes or carpet colors. NEVER!
You girls are so funny.
It makes me miss the days of seventy-fun and sixty-fun.
Sorry you feel old. :o)
Yeah, cuz if you ask about toothbrush colors, you become the victim of stalkerage, and they ask you what color your carpet is when they ask you to dance right before the guy you are totally in love with is going to ask you. Never good. Yes, I have eaten yogurt with a grapefruit spoon. I do not even know how to play bridge, and I don't feel that old. And yes, Old Navy is having a bad season. Sad...
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