Helter Skelter

I've been saving up.

Another Violent Blog:

I stabbed it, ripped off its head, peeled back its skin, ate its flesh and drank its blood. No, really, I did.

I'm sorry, ma'am, the men's section is unavailable
Slash completely torn apart! Angry angry annoyed foiled ladies. That's all. Except I wish foiled continued the alliteration. Oh well.

Another Story for Annie
Well, character actually. When you write your book that doesn't have George Washington in it (she's copyrighted, after all), will you have someone that is constantly cutting onions? Maybe the Greek or Roman gods could curse her. And her hands always smell like onions...and people around her wonder why she never cries, when their eyes are smarting. But she can be like Sysiphus, and just keep plodding on. You could have another character that never sits down. Oooh, or one that always washes dishes. Until her hands are a pale purple and very wrinkled.

Um...I can't Remember the Rest...Have a Good Day!

I Wanna Be A Country Rockstar!!! 

Yes My Friends, Dishes are a WONDERFUL thing!!! Especially Silverware. ;) 

Look How Domestic We Are!!! 

PJ PARTY!!! Yeah, they're all mine. 

INSTANT DEATH!!!

It was a beautiful day. They had dwelt in their tight-knit community for ,many moons--peacefully, for the most part. Until SHE came. By she, of course, I mean me! Yes my friends, I have been the cause of much destruction. Even death. The whole Shebang was sent out against me too. I was hunted, attacked, even trod upon. But to no avail. I have conquered. Homes are destroyed, and food was lost. Many lay dead.

But the garden is weed free! That part anyway. I'm glad I'm not an ant. I am glad too that I am not a centipede or an earwig. Those creep me out more than anything. Spiders, I can handle. No problem. Unless they are those red ones that live under my tramp (remember, Meagan?). Maybe I am creeped out by red things. That is prolly it. I don't like them. Not in a barn, not up a tree.

I feel kind of old. My trainer tonight was 17. He sounded like my cousin Dan--with his voice still trying to change. Awww... He made me chop onions. I showed him-- I liked it. Work was quite the experience. I was only supposed to learn how to make five new sandwiches tonight. Pah ha ha. Nope. After working at Old Navy at 6am and getting sunburnt while I accidentally killed ants, it was fun. I hurt and I'm tired, and I'm getting old. Dangit.

You know how you want to ask people questions because of weird things they say, but then you don't, because it's on The List, and even though there weren't any guys in the area, I knew that Maria would frown anyway? And then you thought about what a funny blog I could have if I just listed all of the questions that popped into my head. But it's on the list, and there are boys in this general vicinity. So don't you worry, Maria. You are safe, and I won't try to scandalize you this time. Just know that I work with some interesting people at Old Navy...wow. And that we got about 50 pink size L tanks in today. ??? And that the clothes at Old Navy are mostly ugly. But at least I'm not as tempted to spend my paycheck!

I'm sorry it's weird, and random, and probably full of mistakes. But I am going to bed now. So I won't check this 'till later. So there.

No animals were harmed during the events spoken of in this blog. **Except ants--do they count?**

Do YOU know how to say Ciabatta? How 'bout foccacia (I know you do Megz)? Can you tell the difference? I can. I know...you're all impressed. Self, now is the time you GO AWAY!!! K bye.

Sometimes I Wonder: Am I a Cupboard?

• I had a "cooking accident"--the cupboard bit me and stole some of my skin. I showed my mom later and she said, "Those cupboards are so cannibalistic." Does that mean I'm a cupboard, or that the cupboard is human?
• My Mom only sweats under one arm. I only cry out of one eye.
• I really really want to get up every morning at four o'clock and be to work. I'm only scheduled one day again. Hopefully I'll get the right one this week.
• Last night I drove a getaway car for a high-profile member of the mafia.
• Answers to prayers sometimes make everything so clear; sometimes they make life harder.
• I am so sick of StarWars, I want to...well, I don't know what I want to do. Something bad.
• Do you ever catch yourself in the middle of wishing for something, and then realize that you don't know exactly what you are wishing for? Real and poignant longing for...you have no idea what?
• "Bishop Blackham" isn't just refering to my Grandpa anymore.
• I find myself trying to convince my Mom that we need to get Risk--the Lord of the Rings Edition.
• I'm not used to not having a crush. It's weird. I LOVE IT!!! I never thought I would be so happy to be not in love.
• That's all.

Can YOU Hear the People Sing?

Because I can, and I love it. This one time, I went to the library yesterday and checked out awesome movies, including Les Miserables in concert. Best running movie ever, p.s. Now I am simply basking in the the beauty of these people's voices and the memories of performing such an amazing show. There are only a few things that would induce me to go back ot high school days, but for Les Mis, I would do it any day!

"Cal, kamakazi's commited suicide." "Yeah, they understood commitment." That's something that impresses me about these characters. When they are sitting behind the barricade, sure to be slaughtered, they continue to stand for their cause. The Bishop, well, he is amazing. They just all are so amazing, and the show itself is too. It confronts all sorts of social problems. There is something for everyone to relate to. The music is superb--especially with a full symphony. Wow. That's all.

I Have a Confession

Um...I like it. I like the new Backstreet Boys song (oh, if you knew how much that cost me). In my defense, I liked it way before I knew who sang it. I think if I hadn't heard the song before I knew, I would be much more prejudiced. But I heard it, connected with it, and then said "Whoah...remember how we were talking about how stupid the new CD was? It's over, give it up already!!!" Now here I am admitting that I like it.

In other news, work is crazy. There is something to getting up waaay before the crack of dawn, and driving from 8th North to University Parkway in 2 minutes though. I liked that. But when I showed up for work, they were like, "wait, you were supposed to come in yesterday." AAAAHHHHH!!!! Start it off with a bang, huh? So I'm lost, and tried to catch up without any training...cool. I should paint my forehead with a huge "duh." That would warn people. I could tatoo it, and then maybe I'd fit in better with the people that worked this morning--I feel a little out of place...oh well. It's just for a couple of weeks.

Ugh. If I really kicked myself all of the times I feel like it lately, I would be black and blue. Can I rewind a couple of days? Annie, will you snap your fingers and erase them for me? Thanks!

"Humbleness"

Nothing like a good blush, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Rachel's right. I'm pretty sure I was red all over. Sometimes I wish the Bishop didn't know me personally. Even the brand-spankin'-new Bishop knows me well. Alas. And maybe even alack. You know when you go into panic mode and just run? Yep. I ran. Right through the chapel.

But I learned a new potato recipe that I plan on eating every day next year. Plus, Cross-grain rib roast is almost as good as a flank stake--at 1/3 the price. I dunno though. The flank is awfully good.

New Clothes, Rain, and Other Slightly Random Things

On my MSN Messenger collection of "My emoticons" I have a smiley that expresses how I feel. If the smile got any bigger, it would engulf the whole face. Oh. Do you hear that beautiful, wonderful thunder? The big black cloud of doom has found me. I just need to finish this blog and get out under it! I apologize to those of you who are English-ly or otherwise writer-ly inclined. My title does not go in the order my body paragraphs follow. Or vice versa. But I don't want to change it so there!

Yes, I got new clothes. My Mom sat me down when I got home and made me choose my birthday presents from her multitude of catalogs. They came the other day, and I like them. I hate shopping most days, but I must say that the new clothes feeling almost makes it worth it. I didn't get any purple clothes. That is because I am resigned to not looking good in purple. I didn't let myself get any new green clothes either. Yes my friends, I am expanding my color world, boldly going where my closet has not gone before. Actually, I have owned clothes these colors--they were just more sparse. And I only got one pink T-shirt. (Way to go self!) And I actually got a red one (horrors!) And I love writing fragments.

Other slightly random things. Hmm... the rain calls to me. But last night while I ran, I watched National Treasure. i do have to say that I still love it. Why can they not make more movies like that? There's action, danger, a hint of romance, and dangit, the dialog is so funny! One of my favorite parts is when they have just changed clothes, and they come out and are leaning on the doors of their dressing rooms. The camera gets a close up of her feet, and she's on tip-toe with one foot, and the other one is tapping behind. Ha ha. I'm not quite sure why, but I adore that.

I'm off to "dance before the lightning, to music sacred and profane..." Who can tell me what musical that is?

Lonely, I'm So Lonely...

Yes Meagan, that one is for you! Sometimes, weird things happen when I am living at home and I haven't made friends with my new ward yet...weird things. Worse than "things we would be doing if we had boyfriends" weird. Besides--That was cool.

Anyways, sometimes I do dumb things. For instance: last night, I was locked out of my house (they aren't quite used to having me here yet). I knocked a couple of times, but no answer. My dilemma: ring the doorbell and wake up everyone? Or...do something else? I did something else. I crawled into our Yukon XL with a woolen poncho that was sitting in our garage (meanwhile pondering upon the woolen-ness of it) and tried to sleep. After an hour and a half, the romance of the situation had worn off, I was cold, and I really had to go to the bathroom...uh oh. So I got out, rang the doorbell, and shivered my way into bed. I have a crick in my neck and back, and decided that the world is cold and dark.

Oddly enough, as I lay there in my dark garage, trying not to think of scary things that may have been sharing my sleeping quarters, I kept thinking of Jeff Schill outside of the car in a gorilla suit, just waiting for me to turn the light on and freak out. Man. Double scary: Jeff plus a gorilla suit! Lol...

FYI: Lilies were my favoritest flower in the whole world. Until yesterday. You see, my sister went to prom. Being slightly unconventional-slash-bordering on outrageous, she decided to make her own boutonniere--out of a giant (we're talking salad-plate-sized) pink lily. So, she bought a whole bunch of them, and they were sitting in our dining room. Absolutely beautiful! Absolutely stinky! Worst smelling flower--actually, prolly not. But bad. However, the look on his face when she brought it out, well, that was worth it. Sigh.

What do y'all think of the little blue flowers falling all over my blog? I thought it was a nice touch. It's actually snow, but good gracious, spring is here! And remember, April showers bring May flowers (and they bring Pilgrims), and we have had a multitude of showers. Excellent.

Meagan, I miss you. Please come home from San Francisco soon. Thanks.